Karma

    You know that time when you did something that you felt bad about and something unexplainable came around to smack you in the face for it? That's Karma! "You know you deserve that!" It laughs while you hang you're head in agreement.  I don't know if you believe it. I don't know that I do. I do know that I get it back all the time in ways that prove whoever is in charge of dishing it out has a twisted sense of humor(I can relate, maybe we would be friends if I was talking about an actual person).  I see some poor woman bonk her head climbing into her car and I laugh(to myself, I'm not an animal) some time in the near future, you can bet your ass a can of green beans will randomly tip over when I open the cupboard for a cup of noodles and roll onto my head just to say "I saw that". You think I would learn my lesson! It happens every time inevitably, you can damn near set your watch to it. Eat the last chips ahoy instead of offering it to one of boys(maybe I am a animal, don't judge me) and its a given next time  I splurge for name brand Oreos CJ will drop the whole bag and then somehow walk on them before he notices. I'm not sure I can blame that one on Karma but I am (she's a vengeful b*!€$ and I wouldn't put it past her).  But this morning things got real! I spent yesterday fighting my 7 year old for every step of getting ready for school. "I'm sick, I need to stay home" echoes through the hall for 45 minutes straight. "Cam it's a runny nose I promise you'll live!" He even tries the unconventional "what if they're out of tissues and I have to use my shirt? You hate that, right?!" Definitely points for creativity.  But to no avail for him, his evil Mom sent him anyway. End of story right? No! Seems somebody, somewhere was not impressed with my denying a sick day and gave it back to me! Cam feels like a million bucks and I have what looks like 2 golf balls sticking out of the side of my throat today! I sound like I have either smoked for 40 years or have a tracheotomy(maybe both).  Whatever it is, it's ugly. I get it Karma! ....I think I'm out of tissues too.