Parent"hood"

Being a parent gives you more respect for your own parents.  Thats a fact! Slowly you begin to understand why they may have been angry at or may not have appreciated your constant smart ass remarks (however perfectly timed they may have been) for the humor intended by them. Who knew that it wasn't funny to hear that 24/7? Now you get why they wanted you to do your work in school and not spend twice the time figuring out a way not to and get away with it. "Sorry Cam, I know you're only seven but this Math is too hard for Mom"! To be fair, they do start teaching them Calculus right out of the womb now. It's like a pressure cooker of principles and your recipe better be spot on. There is no App for this.

You have to start with the manners when they're tiny. They can say "pwetty pwease" for their cocoa and Mickey Mouse. It's important! I say please and thank you for everything (I said thank you for my $90 speeding ticket...idiot). Don't take the last pizza slice without offering it to anyone(or just wait until they leave the room, then its on). If you don't have nothing nice to say keep quiet(you're thoughts are your own though, so enjoy them).  Really, nobody wants to raise that kid that silently walks through the door you're holding for them or even worse the kid who doesn't hold it at all. Ever thought somebody was going to hold the door for you so you run to catch it and you end up just running into the closing door faster? No? Neither have I, that was hypothetical...

You want to raise them to ride that fine line between confidence and cockiness. I want my boys to know they have the power to do or be anything they want too. When I tell Cam this, he throws out Clown College at me(smart ass remarks, I get it now). But that's an issue for another year, hopefully 10 years from now! You want them to be fearless, to be willing to try anything without thinking about failure. I'm sure Johnny Knoxvilles Mom would argue this is only valid to a point, but you can't argue that he has found his niche(even though it involves broken bones, swallowing worms or taking "gas"to the face). He is confident though, good job Mrs. Knoxville. 

Being respectful is high on the list of learning and they learn by watching.  So the way you act towards people is how they inevitably will too.  I know, you would think they'd know better. They see you roll your eyes at the woman in front of you arguing for 10 minutes over the price of green beans going up .07 cents a can(it takes restraint to be a parent). They notice when you "make a helpful suggestion" to other drivers on the road. However much they deserve it! Every name you use, every face you make, they see it and I swear they take notes.  It's like seeing yourself in one of those funhouse mirrors. Better behave! Don't interrupt when someone is talking(I have yet to get my son to realize how annoying that is. It's a 9out of 10 at least). Don't tell someone who cooked for you that it looks gross(even if it looks like something coming out instead of going in) you eat it and do your best "this is delicious" face. Look people in the eyes, listen when somebody is talking to you, wait your turn, leave your clothes on in public, etc. I'm annoyed just listening to myself, no wonder they give me a look like they would smack me if they didn't know any better and could run faster.

Worrying about all of this can put you in an early grave if you let it, but you can't hide from it either. You can't put it off and you can't just hope someone else is going to do it for you. If you do, you could end up with that comic book bully of a kid that nobody wants to show up at their house for dinner. It's all you! It's like a job interview that never ends. "Did I do a good job?"  Parent of the year,  Parent of the day or just Parent that made it through a day without killing somebody? I'll take the latter any day of the week. It's not called Parent"hood" for nothing. Only the strong survive!