Driving Mrs. Crazy.

Going for a ride in my old Jeep used to be my favorite after work activity. A twenty minute ride down a trail could make you feel like you were a million miles away from whatever work threw at you that day. Working late, working hard, working long, got a shitty "cube mate", a bad customer or a "Bill Lumbergh" boss?  Cured! I'd stop at the store to grab a giant pop(yes pop, not soda)and a bag of sunflower seeds before heading on my merry way. I loved to chase the sunset up the mountain with the top off, my music blaring and the wind in my hair. Yes, driving used to be the perfect way to wind down...used to be.  Flash forward seven years and riding in a car has virtually turned into what I would liken to a perfect mixture of a theme park horror ride and that scene from  "Ferris Bueller" where his sister tries to beat him home. In other terms,  NOT relaxing by any meaning of the word.

   Every ride always starts out peaceful and full of hope up until you try to put a seat belt on the 2 year old. If you don't pull off this maneuver with all of the quick precision and skill that you have acquired in your years of experience, the shit will hit the fan! (Oh how I long for the 80's style riding of one on the floor, one on the seat one in the window days.) The situation can go from 0-60 in 2.5 and you don't have time to react. When this happens, I'm sure a wounded animal sound must come out of my mouth as I climb in to drive. 

That's only the start, we haven't even backed out of the driveway yet.  You pray that you have brought enough distractions to prevent the "are we there yets", the "I'm boreds" or the hair raising scream that the baby makes if any part of his brother accidentally comes within reach of him. Did you bring snacks or drinks? "It doesn't matter that we're only going 2 miles, I need something to spill everywhere and that can't happen if you don't bring it!" Then there have to be toys (that hopefully one will have no interest in taking from the other) within reach. "Again I need something to throw on the floor just out of your reach 10 times that I will cry for until you either stop or pull an"Evil Kneivel" style maneuver to get it dammit!"  It can be a fight to the finish and I'm always secretly a little proud of myself for making it home with us all in one piece when it's over.  I once heard someone say that driving with small children is as distracting as driving drunk. I say true!  It's a difficult situation that will one day be made easier thanks to my husband and I's eventual invention "the Any Car Limo Screen" (patent pending).  "Getting loud? Kids fighting and screaming? Do you have toys flying all around? Are you longing for the days when you used to be able to talk to your partner while driving for an entire conversation? If you said yes to any of these, buy our "Any Car Limo Screen" and instantly give your car/truck the power of silence at the touch of a button!" You know you'd think about buying one.

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying its like this every ride without fail......sometimes they do sleep.