Better Left Unseen Scenery

On the way home from Denver yesterday I had an epiphany. I noticed a glaring mistake I have made that must be rectified immediately if you all would please just excuse my oversight. What is this giant blunder you ask? Well, with all this talk about the scenery along the all glorious road trip, I have neglected to address what could equally be the most entertaining and unexpected of all the sights. It's not what your car passes along the way, but who you pass. And why are they doing what they are while you do?

 First, we have the technologist. Not only has he read every travel gizmo and gadget magazine ever published, he owns some useless item from each. Of course, he has the Bluetooth headset (that they're never actually talking to anyone on), why would he want to hold his phone himself to talk like some ancient caveman? That move is for amateurs and he's a professional. Because with his two "hands free" of a cell phone, he can plug in the cigarette lighter coffee cup warmer (yes, kiddos thats what that plug is for...or was). Who has the time to drink your coffee in a timely manner with all of these important people calling? He's too busy punching his directions into the navigation system just for the off chance that he forgot how to get to work or was otherwise distracted by his new travel app dinging the best donut shops in the surrounding area.

Then there is the hygienist. No, not just your run of the mill, fixing a stray hair at a red light type of driver. This is the person who has figured out a way to cut ten minutes out of their daily routine by just finishing up some minor details during the commute. Why do your mascara in the safety of your own bathroom mirror when there is a perfectly reflective rear-view provided for you in your automobile? Need to shave your legs? No problem! You only need one foot at a time to operate an automatic pedal system safely right? Perfect! I've even seen one superior specimen shave, pluck and primp in the same five mile stretch. Multitasking! 

In complete opposition of the prior though, we have what I like to call the lack-of-hygeinist. We've all seen this person. The one who feels like their windows are walls that hide the disgusting hyjinks being carried out behind them. "What do mean you don't want to watch me pick my nose then do the unthinkable while you're waiting to turn?" The world is their napkin and they don't care who has to witness the digging deep of noses, ears, teeth or worse regions that shall remain unnamed to protect those with sensitive stomachs. What better time than a red light to open my door and show you how far I can spit something repulsive while I give you the "what's up" nod? Be reasonable people!

Yes, while the sights we see from the road are usually made up of the sweet scenery of natures serenity, there is no denying the ever present sightings of societies finest. Sprinkled in with the aforementioned, are the interesting additions of the "too short to see" driver(usually of the the elderly variety), the "who needs sleep when there are two lanes for a buffer zone" driver or the ever popular "two people melting into one because we're sitting so close" driver(s)(definitely more common in a country setting).  While we may make fun of the view from our seat, there is no denying the entertainment value of our fellow sightseers. Just be careful not to rubberneck at the train wrecks you see(no-matter how difficult to look away) or risk causing your own for others to see themselves. It's a vicious cycle!