Familial "Fibs"

         Sometimes, the success of a day in the life of a parent depends on your child(ren) believing little fibs(white lies of wisdom, I like to call them). We all do it whether you think you do or not. It's inherited from our parents mostly, but sometimes they can grow just from experience alone. Of course there are the seasonal installations( my personal favorites and the ones that I spend the most time/effort on). Your Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc. In our house, if you don't believe you don't receive, so these believes are standing the test of time people! But the day to day divulged "facts", are definitely harder to hold up. I'm running out of reasons why they are so, besides the old reliable "they just are".
      For example, my kids are still under the impression that my $40 Walmart special vacuum cleaner will suck up an entire box worth of Legos if said building blocks are still in its path when it comes to them! This little ditty speeds up the pick up time in no time once that "ON" button is hit! Of course I have had to verify its validity with the sly pocketing of a few small ones when prying eyes aren't paying attention(it can't really suck them up, that poor thing would go up in a puff of smoke with anything heftier than lint), but sometimes you have to sacrifice a few for the greater good! Lesson learned Lego throwers!
      One omission that is getting harder to hold water, is that the grocery store can be closed at any give time of any given day for any given reason! "I know we're out of syrup, just put some sugar on your waffles!"
But can't you just go to the store and buy more...right now...because I want you to?
Nope, the store's closed.
On a Saturday morning?
Yep.
 Let's be honest, there are worse "fibs" to tell. Sugar waffles are delicious!
      That question of timing brings me to another point that's losing its power as the years go by. Kids are learning to tell time and not only that, they're using said knowledge to call us on our crap! It's a nightmare. From reading store hours to bedtime, they recognize what those big/little hands signify on that big old clock and now the fights on to find another reason why certain things can or can't be done at any given "time". That was just handy to hold that power without question and frankly I think they are learning these things way before we're ready for them to! Disclaimer: obviously I am being sarcastic and I in no way feel our kids education should be compromised for our convenience.....really.
       Whether it's telling your tots that those vitamins are gummy candies or that "aww buddy, it looks like The Backyardigans isn't on right now(when we all know they play that crap 24/7). There are just some "falsehoods" that make parenthood a wee bit easier. But to be fair, they're not all for our convenience either, some are way more work to keep up the charade than it would be not to, but that's what makes them great. For now(not for long),they still think that my "Hoover" has way more horsepower than it actually does. That's just not going to last. But for as long as I live(and I plan on living forever), that jolly old St. Nick will too! If you don't believe you don't receive!

Realistic Resolutions

      It's a New Year today! Actually, it's the second day of the New Year if we're being technical, but I underestimated the necessary recovery time needed for two plus weeks of Holiday cheering! See, I tend to operate on an all or nothing, go big or go home philosophy (mainly eat, drink and enjoy all there is until there's nothing, get a big headache and go home)and it calls for some TLC on the little old me. But as much as I enjoyed this season, I've never been more happy to see a Thursday morning in my life. It's "Back to life, back to reality" as the song says and I for one couldn't be happier. So as I sit here to write down my thoughts in between laundry loads and potty training breaks, I realized that I have neglected to set a New Years resolution for myself. I'm slacking in the superficial traditions already! But seriously, in the off chance that I do hold tight to one life-altering goal and stick with it past a week, I want it to be worth it. No save more money, drink less liquor, drink more water, take vitamins, wake up with a smile each day, go to bed earlier at night, use more patience or exercise better judgment in my actions type ambitions for this girl. I would only be setting myself up for failure from the get-go and what is the point in that waste of time? What I need is something realistic. Something attainable with minimal effort and maximum results. A "hot damn I did it and I wasn't even trying"kind of aspiration to heed confidence in my ability to follow through with something.
     For starters, I could vow to watch less ID marathons and more History channel programming. All that one takes is a simple change in DVR settings and it's mission accomplished! I've instantly changed my outlook on life and my conversational input in party situations. That strange man in the grocery store automatically switches from a potential cellar filling serial killer to a dead ringer of Stonewall Jackson. Amazing! Also, more educational and less fear inducing entertainment could only lead to easier interaction with strangers and better solo sleeping during Chris' work trips. It's a win/win.
     I could get an "eat more vegetables" resolution worked out with just one word: Salsa. Not only is it chocked full of natures best, but it's versatile! Making eggs? Add some salsa to spice things up! It literally makes everything (ok, maybe not desserts) taste better. Chips, rice, corn, hamburgers, chicken, Mac n' cheese(don't judge me), it's never a bad choice! You can even buy the discount brand (made in New York City) for a lighter wallet and a lighter person in general! Talk about a fulfilling full feeling! Plus, you set yourself up for a Pace Picante style joke from your friends and who doesn't enjoy a good ribbing....and a good teasing? Fun and healthy!
     In all seriousness, the New Year is a welcome chance to change what needs changing(hopefully not diapers as much around here) and bettering yourself in whatever way you feel necessary. So, I think I'll start enjoying my intentions right now with one of the 18 bags of chips left over from all the many parties we've had and some spicy goodness accompanied with an hour of Biography. I'll just pretend that I don't notice the tempting string of Beauty Queen Murders beckoning me from 3 channels away. I already feel better about what 2014 has in store! Happy New Year!