Best "Maid" Plans

I have always said when you make plans to have kids, kids make your plans(whether you planned to or not, same rule applies).  This morning was one of those moments that reinforced that message to be the truth. It's should be tattooed on your hand like a wristwatch when you leave the hospital, birthing center, living room or forest floor(whatever, I don't know your life). That way every time you panic and start to look at your wrist, there's that little reminder. "Oh ya, I remember now. They can't tell time and couldn't care less what it was if they could." More than that though, they're a welcome (in my case much needed) reality check that reminds you what your real priorities are. 

    It started with an hour earlier radio alarm sounding (Ironically Garth Brooks-Ain't Going Down 'Til The Sun Comes Up) like a gunshot start to a foot race. This morning, my husband (who has been gone for two nights)was coming home from a work trip and I had stuff that just "had to be done". In many ways, I love operating in an old-timey housewife fashion and I don't like him to come home to a dirty house, clothes, kids or wife(you get your mind out of the gutter). I like the kids fed, one at school/one in my back pocket, the exercising done, the groceries bought, the homework finished, the laundry cleaned and the wife showered. So I woke up focused on that final outcome and mission minded Mom went into full form. You have to want it to win it people.

 Well, nothing can quite slap you in the face and open your eyes like sticking you're hand palm deep in poop first thing in the morning. Pre-coffee even too, I was not even close to prepared! It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what that smell is sight un-seen in a dark room. This is where we separate the women from the girls, and you prove what you're really made of. It's game time and not only am I the starter, I'm the only player this morning so taking a knee is not an option here. You've never seen a to-do get going faster in your lifetime then facing down a toddler literally covered in crap, a 7 year old "helpfully" reminding you from the shower that it's still "crazy hair" day at school and twenty minutes to figure it all out before the tardy bell rings (we missed that deadline).  I swear there is a part of your brain birthed right along with your babies thats sole purpose is to take over operations during times like these. It's an outer body experience. You actually just hover over yourself and watch the magic unfold with pit crew like speed and efficiency. Kids are cleaned, washers running, Febreeze sprayed and students delivered complete with crazy blue hair!  Miracles do exist people. 

   Just like that I pull back in the driveway, faith renewed for the desired results of the day. Game on right? Not so fast Momma, one ring of my phone with the Elementary School on the line and that survivor part of your brain effortlessly jumps back into action.  Not only do I have one projectile hurling child, but two. Twice the Pepto dosing, soup making, cartoon watching, bell ringing summoning and blanket washing for the price of one. So yes today more than most, I am faced with a  Mission Impossible type of day, but like I have said, this is where you separate the women from the girls and you show what you're really made of. It looks like today I'm made of diapers and wipes, sprite on Ice and lots of Top Ramen on the way. Good-bye list.