Meet Cleaver

    While watching old sitcom reruns last night, I started thinking (maybe to long) about my stay at home "Momdom"(new word, inventive I know) and how much the job has changed over time. Myself being a card carrying member of their 5+ year club, (Three more years and I get a aluminum gift. They may need to re-evaluate the anniversary schedule, I can get an aluminum "gift set"of 6, 12 or 24 any time I please) I thought I'd share my perspective. The days of the 50s style housewife/mother are long gone, but their spirit lives on in the hearts of us, their kindred sisters in the Order of the Mothers(it's more official and exclusive that way). June Cleaver may be the ideal version, but this isn't T.V. and its not the 1950s anymore, so I have taken this occupation of devotion and made it my own. It may not work for you but neither do I, so why not read and enjoy? 

    I give my kids their breakfast every morning and yes, there's no T.V. while they eat it. However, the fact that it comes in toaster pastry form or from a Malt-O-Meal bag rather than homemade French toast and eggs, I feel is irrelevant. I do drive my son to school in my pajamas every morning (modern Momma style though,  I've never worn a set of curlers in my lifetime) but I don't get out of the car to show the world this poor kid with the Mom in an old t-shirt and slipper boots.  Considerate! I let him pick the music too whether I like it or not. Gone are the days of hiding your Ozzy records under your mattress (as long as it's not Beiber or Cyrus. I can only bend so far before I break). Once home, on goes the list of  "potential" accomplishments to tackle by three o'clock (there is a two year old "boss" around just making things interesting). The house cleaning, laundry washing, bill paying, diaper changing, kid chasing and shopping(groceries not clothes, I can't remember the last piece of clothing I bought myself). Put one of these off too long and the proverbial shit will hit the fan, then it takes hours to finish a five minute project. Heaven knows I love them, but something's are just easier without "help". I sit down for homework time every afternoon, but the homework they give second grade kids these days I learned at twelve and I was barely paying attention then. Do you know how humbling it is to have a seven year old correct your use of an apostrophe? Least favorite job ever!

   Now my Grandma was the ultimate housewife/mother and (Bless her soul) she went her entire 91 years never learning how to drive. An anomaly these days being as that if we didn't drive now, how would anyone get anywhere? Imagine all the empty soccer/baseball/basketball practices or missed play dates all around? Madness! But, I myself have taken this to a further extreme (more common in the country) and have taken in upon myself to become a pretty damn decent ATV driver (however,after owning a dirt bike for a year I still looked like a baby deer learning to walk). I've had some form of them since I was a five year old and being a "Mommy" has not quenched my need for speed. If anything, it's fueled it based on my ever growing fear of falling into the aging rut. I love to feel the wind in my face, the adrenaline in my veins and yes, even the dirt in my teeth. Rally Mom style!

   Exercising is just another line on the list of changes for a modern housewife vs. our 50's counterparts. The image we've all seen of the woman in a calf length skirt drinking a martini while the fat literally was "shaken" off of them by a mine belt has been replaced by training for marathons while pushing a stroller packed with kids and their many necessities. We'll jog to the store these days, kids in tow and make a stop at the bank for a quick errand. They get a sucker and we burn some calories while crossing off two to-dos. Multitasking! If your lucky enough, they didn't fall asleep on the way and you may even be able to slip in the elusive solo shower that doesn't consist of using the shampoo/conditioner blend to cut 2-3 minutes out of the process!

     It's no lie that the many job requirements have changed on the resume of a stay-at-home mom over the years. I can't say whether it's the right choice for everyone or even if it was the right choice for me (the results are still a few years out). I'm not even saying I'm remotely close to being one who we would use as a reference to our kind, there are more than a few don'ts on my list. I don't bake for two good reasons(For one there are many bakers close to my house much better than I am who get paid to do so and who am I to infringe on their territory or income? Secondly, if I bake them, I will eat them, period). I'm not even a member of the PTA(shocking). I tested those waters long enough to find out that my saying "Sure, I'll help at the Halloween party" is interpreted as "I'm willing to devote my every waking second to every fundraiser, drive,  carnival, project or field trip we can possibly ever imagine! I never need to do anything not school related again, ever!" Props to those of you that do, it's not for me.  I am, however, saying that while I may have flipped this housewife business on its bottom and I am nowhere close to June Cleaver status, I dare to say that if we were face to face in a stay-at-home off, she would surely rue the day she met this housewife.