Rock the Ages

I am going to love being old. No teenagers, not 40 years old, old(it would be nice to be naive enough to think 40 is old again though). I'm talking the full enchilada, 75-88 years old sound like prime years to me. I know you just said "What?!" That's crazy talk!" Just hear me out and then base your judgment on my "educated facts". By the time you have reached that point in life you have put in the work, you have seen everything and (if you played your cards right) you have earned the respect of all your peers. With that experience and respect come certain perks that nobody (unless they're assholes) are going to argue. 

  For one, meal time becomes a relaxing experience. There are no picky eaters whining about the peas in the soup or the onions in the tacos. You like peas and onions you make them dammit! If they don't  like it, they can go to their house and eat! Plus, if you don't want to make your own plate at a party just tell somebody. What are they going say, "I don't care if your feet hurt, make it yourself"?Never. Then there's the ice cream every night. The good Rocky Road kind you want too, no sherbet here. You've earned it and should enjoy it!

   What about the comfy shoes? You know the ones I'm talking about. Nurse shoes! Soft material, cushy souls and if you're lucky, no laces! Perfect. Nobody expects you to be "in style" or wear 4 inch wedge heels to walk around all day. For one its dangerous...and frankly too young for you (I'm hoping anyway).

 If you're a woman(I never claimed to be a lady, haha) you get the added perk of making one trip a week to get your hair done too. No new style every day. No spending an hour+ blow drying, curling, straightening, pinning or whatever you have to do now. As long as you sleep straight, you're good for the week!

 One of the biggest (and most anticipated for me) pluses will definitely be the exercising or the not exercising to be more accurate. By then, most of us will have spent at least 50 years running or walking of way into smaller pants and tighter bodies. Not in your "golden years". Have you ever asked your grandma "want to go to the gym with me?" No, because she doesn't have to or want to. Her shows are on. 

Finally, the biggest of the bonuses.  If you were a good parent and you did what you should, you're done with the hard stuff. They're  your grand kids now(probably great grand kids by then). Its up to your kids to instill in their kids the  morals, good manners, sense of responsibility, good work ethic, humility and every other character trait necessary to raise a decent human being. Pressures off of you! Now it's just the fun stuff with your grandkids you wouldn't do for your own trying not to spoil them(or you were a lot tougher in your younger years and time has turned you into a giant bowl of mush that can't say no to anything).  Cookies before dinner? Sure! Spend all day in your PJs? Why not. Get your new clothes muddy, jump on the bed or dump out the entire crate of Legos in the hallway? Whatever, it's all good.

Being "old" is going to rock.