How To Spot A Psycho: 5 Ways To Unmask The Unhinged

     Recently, I was told by someone who knows me pretty well(as good as you can, I'm clearly a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma) that I'm a good judge of character. I can spot a psycho, a stage five clinger or a Single White Female from a country mile away. What can I say, it's a burden I was born to bear. Ex ray vision style! But don't worry, I'm willing to share my skill set with the masses in hopes of building a better tomorrow and make that wall of trust harder to climb for the "fake". So I've compiled a list of foolproof signs your new friend may be a psycho.

1: They want to be involved in every aspect of every part your life.  From Doctors appointments to putting gas in your car, they want a front row seat to the shit show. "Oh, you have a rash, let me rub ointment on it for you!" No, thanks I'm good over here. Boundaries!
2:  You're hobbies are now their hobbies. Whether or not there was an interest before or not, now it is their only interest! "I know I was deathly terrified of snakes before, but wrangling Rattlers sounds like a perfect way to spend an afternoon!"
3: All of the sudden, you have all of the same friends. "Oh, you know so-and-so too? Me too, we're BFFs! I'm surprised you didn't know that in your years of knowing them before I did!" No, you met them yesterday...at lunch...with me.
4: They flip like a light switch. "You didn't call me back immediately after I called you this morning! Are you mad at me?! Are we not friends anymore?! Oh look our shirts are the same color, it's like we're sisters. I love you. Let's go to lunch!" ...what just happened here?
5: They're forgetful. You can have an all-out friendship ending fight of the decade and the next day they show up at your door with a bag of Fig Newtons and pretend it never happened. "Oh, that wasn't a fight. It was just a disagreement. I know you didn't mean to call me crazy when you spotted me following you two cars behind." Umm, is this the Twilight Zone?
   
    Trust me, if you just use these handy hints, you too will develop a dexterity to spot the delusional. You will be out there ripping masks off of hidden villains Scooby Doo style. "I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for that meddling housewife!"