Unfortunate Employment

      One of my friends just opened my eyes up to what is probably hands down, the worst winter job ever. I'm ashamed to say, that I hadn't even considered it when thinking of the least tempting trades to take on during this snowy season. Yes, I have thought of this before, yearly even. They're everywhere you look! Next time you pull in to your local lube station(for an oil change gutter brain) and ask for the full service(yes, we're still talking about auto maintenance here) think about that poor man in the pit having to wade through the mud and muck caked to your chassis while ensuring that your vehicle acquires the attention necessary for its prime performance. He's down there braving all of the usual grease and grime that comes standard with the trade, but now he has the added bonus of ducking and dodging the 20 pounds ice glaciers migrating south from your wheel wells.  Without the safety of a hard hat or at least the wetness protection of a poncho I might add! Eye-opening. As bad as this position is (and it's pretty bad) there is more than one "less than jolly" job to hold this time of year. Let's give a virtual toast to all of those who most deserve atleast a swig of spiked egg nog this holiday season.
     Cheers to the cheery gift wrapper girl manning the paper station.  All of the handy work you spend literally minutes on producing for our lazy butts, will last milliseconds at the most in the hands of the eager receiver I plan on giving it to, yet you somehow put the same pride into each package that you produce. On top of that, you do it sans any warm beverages or Hallmark movies to motivate the Christmas mood. I (and anyone else getting a gift from me that doesn't look like a dog wrapped it) thank you!
     You too, polite pedicurist with a "walk-ins welcome" policy on your centrally located mall station. Your choice of high traffic prime real estate practically guarantees that you will encounter us wearing our sweaty winter boots with heavy wool socks. Stylish to wear, smelly to share. You are a fearless warrior laughing in the face of the dreaded winter feet and taking them from frightening to fancy in one short visit while we relax. We all thank you!
     Probably one of the most deserving of some "Christmas Cheer", is the poor Hickory Farm sample tray circulator. You stand in font of your beautifully displayed party tray providing paradise and brave the massive hoard of holiday shoppers looking for a "free" anything. With that complimentary price on your summer sausage filled platter, I will turn that "please take one" suggestion and interpret it as an invite to an all you can eat buffet with crackers on the side. I know you dread spotting me in the crowd and I (like most patrons) rarely purchase after "tasting", but you still let me use and abuse your generosity. Thank you for the yearly free lunch!
     It's surely the season for giving and appreciating and I wish I could give more to those that appreciate it. But alI I can do is acknowledge that you deserve to be thanked and recognized for your contribution to the Christmas season. If we lived in more liberal times I would deliver libations to each of you. It's definitely the thought that counts though, so know that I (and the tens of people reading this) are thinking of you today. Cheers!