It's no secret that women are beautiful, graceful creatures full of love and compassion. However, it's also no mystery that sometimes there can be, how should I put it, a dark side hidden underneath that seemingly soft exterior. We can go from fixing your hair to pulling it out, cuddling you close to cursing your name or singing your praises to the silent treatment faster than you can say "nice shoes!" It's a handle with care type situation that should probably come with a warning label for your own safety. But as bad as we can be to the boys who share our space(or our bedrooms), the trials we throw at each other can make the Hunger Games look like child's play. Amateurs! Here are just a few ways us heroines can act more like villains when you know how to spot the "not-so-subtle" signs of the spiteful.
There's the "backhanded complimenter". She the one that says "Oh, wow! You really look great...now." Your first thought is nothing deeper than, oh how nice of her to say so. She's so sweet. Then after the initial imprint of the comment sinks deeper, the insinuations rise higher. Well, how the hell did I look before then? Here I was under the impression that all was well in the appearance area when really there was nowhere to go but up. Thank you for your astute observation and for your subtle addition of a single word to burst my beauty bubble. B word.
We also have the "divide and conqueror". This is the one who can't enter a group of two or more women(males are exempt for some reason) and simply add to the enjoyment of the experience with their presence. No, they need to first split up said group of gals to place herself in a prime position. She needs to have the say, make the decisions and choose who can participate in this imaginary power struggle. Once you let this lady into your midst, you can spend years repairing the damage left in the wake of her warfare. Just say no!
The "rain on your parader" is no doubt one to watch out for. If you have big news to share, she will somehow squash it with her sly methods of downplay. "I got that job I was hoping for!" You scream excitedly hoping for some sign of celebration. "Oh, I heard you were the only one that applied". Really? Where's the love? Would it kill you to smile and muster out a "good for you" type sentiment? Remember what to do if you don't have anything nice to say?
The "rumor spreader" is an especially dangerous specimen. There is no fact finding or verifying of a particular claims validity in her program. Her M.O. is nothing more than a life sized game of telephone for one. "Oh did you hear Christina's feet smell horrible?" You don't know that to be a true characteristic. Maybe she had been involved in some sort of athletic activity that day or was just wearing thicker socks than the season called for. By your random repeating of this rumor you could have easily ruined flip flop Friday for Christina and in turn, made her have to completely rethink her summer wardrobe. Loose lips sink ships people!
By far the worst of the maleficent (not fair) maidens, is the "two faced femme fatale". It's much easier to spot this villain in a batman movie than it is in real life. She is the one you dig deep with and bear your soul to based on the ingenious way they present themselves as a trusted friend. You tell her your secrets, share your thoughts and dreams, spill some dirt even under the guise of sisterhood when really it's just a ruse. You have no way of knowing that she is just saying she loves your singing voice when really she has been uploading videos of your karaoke "skills" on YouTube to be mocked by the masses. Be careful who you trust (and who you serenade) for your own sake.
It really is a jungle out there in the world of womanhood. There are dangers everywhere armed with curling irons and curbed consciences. Mean girls isn't just a movie. But have no fear females. Buried behind the vines and quick sand pits, there is a treasure trove full of trusted friends. They're your reward for all the battles fought and won through years of making mistakes (if you have learned from them). Once, you have found your friends for life there's nothing left but to sing out "We are family" Sister Sledge style....and they won't even notice if you can't hit the notes.
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