Have A Bad Day

     Do you what day it is? What day is it? It's National "Have a Bad Day" Day! Yes, you read that correctly! Look it up. "What is the meaning of this Austin?" Well loyal readers, let me fill you in on all the glorious details so that you too may spend the day acting accordingly(if you dare...and I do). Now I know your minds first instinct is to go "the nice route". It's how we're born and bred. Right now you're assuming (you know what they say about assuming and I'm no ass) "Oh how nice, someone devoted an entire day to teaching us that everybody has a bad day sometimes. That you're not alone in your times of repeated mistakes or struggles, we all have them. Smile anyway, right? Actually, no! The true intention of the day is for people in the customer service industry to trade the usual courtesy of "have a nice day"with a crude "have a bad day" instead. Seems more natural to me and the beautiful thing about it is that this can be celebrated universally! We all know someone we would like to give the proverbial "finger" to. Well, now's your chance!
     I would like to start with whoever it is that watches me pull out of the driveway on a daily basis(especially if I am in a hurry, which I usually am) and dispatches every over 80 year old "Sunday driver" to then position themselves between me and my desired destination. You have somehow figured out every route that I may potentially take on any given day and have them all covered with people going no higher than 12 miles under the speed-limit. Kudos to you for the thorough job you have done, but why don't you take the day off for once?!
     While I'm at it, don't think you're escaping my crosshairs CBS executives. Your decision to cancel my beloved "Vegas" not only ruined my Tuesday night television schedule, the Dennis Quaid withdrawal that followed led to the reality that I have misplaced The Rookie DVD I once owned. Thanks for considering my feelings when throwing this wrench out into the world. You owe me one serving of Quaid quality entertainment of equal or higher value!
      Also, I would like to put myself in a much deserved place of punishment. Without your recent breakdown and purchase of that delicious Reese's puff cereal, you would still be in the dark about the level of pure delight it carries when consumed and would not be facing a daily battle not to eat the whole bag while your son is at school. This is your own fault! Now you have be to spend all that time convincing yourself that Grape Nuts give the same gratification. Good luck with that!
      Days like this don't come around often(technically once a year) so take the time now to focus on the task at hand. But keep in mind tomorrow is a new day full of the same old, same old and those you "stand up to" today may be there lying in wait for an "I'm sorry". Hey, if you can dish it out, you have to be able to take it. It's a "buyer beware" type situation. Thank you and "Have A Bad Day" everybody!