Nightmare Before Christmas: Friday The 13th

    It's Friday the 13th! This is a creepily "unlucky" occasion that should only come around in the month of October. Am I right? We're supposed to be nestled all snug in our beds while visions of sugarplums dance in our heads. Not thoughts of some psycho freaky Jason out roaming the darkness and planning our immediate demise from which there is no escape! It just doesn't scream holiday cheer the same way an Elf like movie can(or maybe it does, I don't know your life). Call me crazy! But maybe there is a way to mix the two completely opposite holiday seasons Nightmare Before Christmas style(maybe not too, this could be a disaster).
  What if Elf on a Shelf...you know...actually did what the book says? Some tiny little man with a silly name and creepy perma-grin glued on his face spends all day watching every move you make. Judging you! Like one of those spooky pictures in a haunted house whose eyes only move when you're not looking. All the while taking mental notes and holding all the power as to which list you end up on? Naughty or nice? Then at night when we have slipped off to a peacefully clueless slumber, "Sid" stands up from whatever post he's taken that day and flies! Just thinking about it gives me the creeps and makes me feel a lot better about "misplacing" that little bastard this year. Worst narc ever.
    Then there are the Christmas carolers. This seemingly harmless bunch just want to stand and your porch uninvited and share the holiday spirit through song. Joyous!  Imagine though, if we mixed the two holidays and this tradition was done wearing Halloween costumes instead of festive robes with muffs. Answering the door to a group of zombie or Hannibal Lector impersonators singing "He sees you when your sleeping" will send you back to the days of a nightlight quicker than you can say "Happy Holidays". There is no amount of spiked egg nog that can make that any less creepy. The two don't mix!
     It doesn't take much imagination to turn The grinch into a horror story. He's pretty much there (for the first 3/4 of the tale anyway). Some Sesame Street looking castaway living in the Hills Bigfoot style. Just waiting and watching the joy build up enough so that you least expect the home invasion he will later spring on your perfectly festive home! He'll take the presents. Yes, he'll take the tree. But worst of all, he takes the entire feast right down to the roast beast. No holiday leftovers?? Nightmare of epic proportions, I say!
     Without a doubt, a December Friday the 13th just doesn't belong. Now is no time for thoughts of the scary or sleep depriving nightmares of creepy puppets!  I propose that I n the event that this happens again during the holiday season, we just call it the umpteenth. December umpteenth, the day we pretend it's not what it is and go on our "Merry" way sharing some Christmas "cheer" with our family and friends. Much better!